I am not here. I am on a small rocky island in the gulf of Finland. I am warming my face in the sun while the sea washes and backwashes. I am drinking my coffee brewed on the stove, listening to Grandmother and Sophia squabbling like seagulls. At my feet is moss, warm springy damp moss. I am breathing in the sea, the air is shimmering. I close my eyes. I am complete.